Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Don't F*** with J.R.
John Reid, who took over the Home Office portfolio from Charles Clarke less than a month ago, vowed last week, in the face of mounting criticism over scandals and allegations of incompetence in the troubled department, that he would “f***ing well work 18 hours a day” to sort out the mess.
He spent the bank holiday weekend in France.
Don’t get me wrong; I like Reid (as much as anyone can “like” a politician), he’s pugnacious, straight talking and witty – and he’s a fellow Scot.
His timing might have been slightly out; in both practical and PR terms, perhaps “this was not the moment for him to pick”, as a Liberal Democrat spokesperson opined.
But I can imagine what he would say (privately, if not for public consumption) if challenged:
“The trip gave me much-needed time and space to do the f***ing paperwork necessary to put plans into action that will send all this sh*t to bed.
“And, besides, I needed to spend some time with my wife: I haven’t seen her in f***ing months.
"To sum up: f*** off!"
Tony Blair was also on holiday (although he’s not due back quite yet), leaving the other “John” – a.k.a “two shags” – to manage the country in his absence.
The deputy PM, famous for his lack of an Oxbridge education, and his past as a union delegate, was photographed playing croquette, and drinking something that looked like Champaign, on the front lawn of his mansion, not two hours after his boss’s departure.
He spent the bank holiday weekend in France.
Don’t get me wrong; I like Reid (as much as anyone can “like” a politician), he’s pugnacious, straight talking and witty – and he’s a fellow Scot.
His timing might have been slightly out; in both practical and PR terms, perhaps “this was not the moment for him to pick”, as a Liberal Democrat spokesperson opined.
But I can imagine what he would say (privately, if not for public consumption) if challenged:
“The trip gave me much-needed time and space to do the f***ing paperwork necessary to put plans into action that will send all this sh*t to bed.
“And, besides, I needed to spend some time with my wife: I haven’t seen her in f***ing months.
"To sum up: f*** off!"
Tony Blair was also on holiday (although he’s not due back quite yet), leaving the other “John” – a.k.a “two shags” – to manage the country in his absence.
The deputy PM, famous for his lack of an Oxbridge education, and his past as a union delegate, was photographed playing croquette, and drinking something that looked like Champaign, on the front lawn of his mansion, not two hours after his boss’s departure.
